My fluctuating weight

Haha... my blog post today sounds like an episode from Scrubs... gotta love that show.
Just thought i'd put up a slideshow of my journey, to remind me why i'm determined to knock this binge eating and famine reaction on the head...



Went out last night for dinner in the end to catch up with a friend. Started out with the healthy option - was craving seafood, so i had a delicious grilled octopus salad. But as the night went on, i knew i was still hungry. So we stopped by McDonalds and I had hot chips and one of those mini snack wrap thingemies. Goodness it tasted good! And perhaps tasted even better because 1) i didn't have the guilts about it, 2) i was actually hungry!
And since i went home and had a few more squares of chocolate with mum, i know i probably went a bit over the recommended caloric intake. But i don't care, because i know that my body will automatically regulate my hunger and desire for foods today to suit...! And sure enough - i had the best night's sleep in ages, because i didn't wake up in the middle of the night hungry. I never let myself eat in the middle of the night - because i've never done it, and i don't ever want to start, because that is probably the worst thing you can do to your body! Hahah, except that time last Easter when i must have been so ravenous that i ate my entire 200g lindt chocolate bunny in the middle of the night whilst still asleep!!!!! The chocolate stained wrappers smeared all over my pillow were a good indication as to who had eaten them... If anyone is reading this post, what's the weirdest thing you're body has ever done when it was starving?

I'm just waiting for my lunch to do down now so I can go for a walk. I'm getting that kind of "itchy" feeling in my legs, like they want to move.

I think i ate a bit too much at lunch. We had a Greek salad with olive-oil-and-garlic-toasted bread. I would have been fine if i hadn't finished with this cappucino...

Chocolate cravings seem to be all gone today. Must have given my body enough of the fatty/sugary goodness it needs to shutup about chocolate. So yay for that!

Take care,

Love Nikki

PM Update: Well, after lunch i was waiting for the energy to come to do some exercise (didn't do any yesterday)... and waiting... and waiting... and it still neglected to come! In the end i grabbed a snack, and waited an hour - the dizziness went away, but then did some pilates and was extremely tired. I HAVE to eat more... i'm really struggling doing it because of my paranoia of weight gain, but otherwise i'm not going to be able to try and lose weight again - or worse, i'll have a binge. No binges since Nov 2007, so lets try and keep it that way! Well, I was extremely grumpy in the hour or two preceding dinner after (unfortunately) FORCING myself to finish that pilates - but was happily rewarded with a huge bowl of steaming mussels/prawns/squid/fish in a lovely white wine and tomato broth with garlic aioli - and managed to beat down my fear of carbs, yet again, by having not one, not two, but three slices of bread! Didn't actually require much forcing, actually, as i was craving bread like mad - and it was fantastic with the garlic aioli. I actually reached a bit of a compromise with the aioli which worked really well. Still having a paranoia about olive oil (usu. make aioli with no oil!!!), so here is my delicious compromise.

Garlic Aioli: 1 clove garlic (crushed), 1 tsp salt, 1 egg yolk, 1 tsp dijon mustard - whipped with an egg beater. Slowly pour in about 30ml of olive oil whilst continuing whipping, and then juice of half a lemon. With a fork, whip in 3/4 cup fresh plain yoghurt and cracked black pepper to taste... ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!